


It's just a prank, bro

by spencersmith



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 12:03:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15796146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spencersmith/pseuds/spencersmith
Summary: “I think we should have sex.”“What are you talking about?”Ryan is staring at Shane incredulously. Shane just looks nonplussed.“I think we should have sex.” Shane repeats.





	It's just a prank, bro

“I think we should have sex.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Ryan is staring at Shane incredulously. Shane just looks nonplussed. 

 

“I think we should have sex.” Shane repeats. 

 

“Together?” Ryan squeaks. It’s a dumb response, but he’s extremely taken aback.

 

“Yeah, you and I.” Shane says.

 

“Is this some kind of prank? This isn’t funny, dude. I don’t--”

 

“It’s not a prank.” Shane interrupts. “ I just think it would be neat.”

 

Ryan doesn’t say anything for a second, just stares into Shane’s dumb slavic eyes looking for any sign that he’s joking. Shane’s expression doesn’t change. 

 

“You think,” Ryan starts, “that we should have sex,” he lowers his voice a little, “because it would be ‘neat’.” 

 

Shane shrugs. “Yep.” 

 

“I don’t understand.” Ryan says. 

 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Shane says. “I just thought I’d put it out there. I’m gonna go get me some lunch! You want anything? A sub? Maybe some jelly beans?”

 

“Wh…” Ryan stammers, still trying to process what Shane said a second ago. “A diet root beer?” 

 

Shane gives him an exaggerated thumbs up, and before Ryan has the brain power to say anything else, he leaves him standing there feeling totally confused. 

 

*

 

The rest of the day at the office is normal - normal for everyone else, rather. Ryan is trying to focus on work since he has a new case to research and a whole list of notes to hand over to the editing team. Every time he tries to focus his attention on work, Shane pops back into his head. Did he imagine that conversation? 

 

Shane can’t actually mean it. But it doesn’t seem like a very funny joke, either. 

 

Also, what a ridiculous way to ask someone out. Like, he could have at least bought Ryan a drink or something first, right? 

 

No, Shane definitely wasn’t being serious. This is just another classic Shane joke. That’s probably what it is. 

 

Though Shane never really jokes about sex. 

 

Sex, God. He wants them to have sex. With each other. 

 

No, it’s got to be a joke. 

 

Ryan clicks his pen a few times, staring blankly into his computer screen. He’d be lying if he said that he hasn’t thought about it in the past. Sex with Shane, that is. Shane’s a handsome dude, and they spend a lot of time together. A lot of nights sleeping next to each other. It would be hard  _ not  _ to think about having sex with someone that you’re that close to. He figured it was normal. He never thought he’d actually  _ act  _ on it. 

 

And he never thought that Shane would be thinking the same kinds of things. Like in the Sallie house when Shane let Ryan sleep plastered against his side, or the odd time that Shane would wrap an arm around his waist during the night. Ryan assumed that was an unconscious decision, that Shane was just annoyed with Ryan’s panicked whispering and wanted to get some sleep. 

 

It was stupid to even think about these things, because Shane was definitely joking. There’s no way in hell he was being serious. 

 

“You okay, Ryan?” Shane’s voice makes Ryan jump out of his skin. 

 

“What? Yeah. I’m fine.” Ryan says, eyes wide. 

 

Shane throws a can at Ryan and Ryan scrambles to catch it as it hits him in the chest. “One diet root beer for the gentleman. Disgusting choice.”

 

“Shut up, they’re good.”

 

“Whatever you say.” 

 

There’s a couple of seconds of silence where Ryan’s heartbeat is so loud in his own ears that he’s almost positive Shane can hear it. 

 

“You’ll be happy to know that I’ve decided to add three new characters to the Hot Daga this week.” Shane says eventually, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. 

 

Ryan sighs, cracking open the can. “God, I hate you.” 

 

“Nothing better than a good hate fuck.” Shane says. 

 

Ryan nearly chokes on his root beer, coughing and sitting up. He doesn’t even know what to reply, but he doesn’t get a chance, because then Shane is saying;

 

“Cool, well, I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll see you later, buddy.”

 

And he leaves Ryan sitting there again, staring at the door he just went out of, back to being just as confused as before. 

 

*

 

He manages to get a bit of work done in the afternoon, mainly by turning off the part of his brain that remembers who Shane Madej is. He decides to call it a night at 7 o’clock, and a few people from work are planning on going out for some drinks. A drink is exactly what Ryan needs, because he’s been completely on edge all day and his shoulders are tense. 

 

Shane isn’t going to the bar with them, and Ryan can’t tell if he’s disappointed or relieved. Maybe if Shane were going he would reveal that he had just been messing with Ryan all day, and Ryan could lay the issue to rest and stop fucking  _ thinking  _ about it. 

 

Stop thinking about what it would be like, to have Shane’s hands all over him. To kiss him. To… yeah. All of that. He could stop thinking about all of that. 

 

But Shane went straight back to his apartment after work to see his new cat, so Ryan doesn’t have the luxury of closure. 

 

He goes pretty hard, at the bar. 

 

He didn’t intend to get properly drunk, but he was having so much fun and he was so distracted from the worries of the day that he just kept offering to buy more rounds. It was after his sixth shot that he realised how truly shitfaced he was becoming. He wanted to tell someone about what Shane said today, but any time he tried to bring it up his face would burn and he would be too embarrassed. 

 

So instead, he stumbled his way out of the bar and into the alleyway, where he drunkenly pulled out his phone and dialled Shane’s number. No answer. He tried again. Still no answer. 

 

So of course, the next thing that his stupid drunk brain did was immediately call for an uber to take him to Shane’s apartment.

 

It’s totally not weird, it’s super close by, and Ryan just wants Shane to come down to the bar and join them because they’re having so much fun. That’s what his story is. That’s what he rehearses in the uber to Shane’s place, and that’s what he’s repeating in his mind as he rings the buzzer. 

 

“Hello?” Shane’s voice comes out of the little buzzer box, all static-y and electronic. 

 

“Hey, Shane,” Ryan says, trying to sound as sober as possible, but accidentally sounding like his ‘Unsolved voice’ a little. He coughs. “It’s me.”

 

“Ryan?” Shane says. He sounds surprised. “Come on up.” The door in front of Ryan clicks as it unlocks, and he pushes it open and starts walking up to the third floor. Shane’s apartment block is really clean, white walls on white walls, and Ryan is trying desperately to keep his balance as he walks down the corridor to Shane’s front door. 

 

The door is flung open the second Ryan knocks, and Shane ushers him in quickly. 

 

“Quick, quick, quick, before the cat gets out.” he says, closing the door behind Ryan.

 

Ryan takes a moment to regain his balance, standing in the middle of Shane’s living room. “Whoa.” he says. 

 

“Ryan, are you drunk?” Shane says, chuckling to himself. 

 

“No.” Ryan lies. 

 

Suddenly Shane’s hand is on the small of Ryan’s back, guiding him over to the couch where he sits down. Ryan can’t stop the blush that creeps up his chest and burns at his ears, just from Shane touching his back. This is ridiculous. 

 

“Shane--” he starts, just as Shane says;

 

“Would you like some tea or something?” 

 

“Some tea…” Ryan repeats absently. Then he snorts to himself. “Some ooze-long tea.”

 

Shane wheezes out a laugh. “I knew you liked that.” 

 

“Whatever.” Ryan rolls his eyes. “I’m okay for tea, thanks.” 

 

“Okay,” Shane sits down on the couch next to him, clasping his hands together. “What’s got you drunkenly coming over to my apartment at midnight, buddy?”

 

Ryan swallows, and drags his eyes up to meet Shane’s. His vision is pretty blurry. Shane is wearing stripy pyjamas and he looks really cute. “Uhhhh…” 

 

“If it’s for the sex thing, then I’m definitely not having sex with you while you’re drunk.” Shane says.

 

“Oh, my God, that’s exactly it!”  Ryan exclaims. “Why do you keep saying that?”

 

“What, that we should have sex?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“I told you, I think it would be neat.”

 

“But it’s a joke, right? You’re joking?”

 

Shane looks confused. “No.”

 

“Why are you so  _ confusing? _ ” Ryan groans. 

 

“Ryan, I literally can’t think of anything more direct.”

 

Ryan muses on that for a second, chewing on his lower lip. Shane is studying him, both eyebrows raised.

 

“So you’re saying,” Ryan says. “You want to have sex with me.” 

 

“Yep.”

 

Ryan thinks about it for another moment, and then he’s suddenly moving, clambering over to where Shane is sitting on the couch, until their faces are inches apart. Ryan feels clumsy and drunk and Shane is just looking at him, his breath even, a slightly concerned look on his face. 

 

Ryan is going to blame his actions on the alcohol, if he embarrasses himself. But right now, he just can’t resist.

 

He closes the distance between them and presses his mouth to Shane’s, tentative at first. Shane brings his hand up to cup Ryan’s cheek and it’s much softer than he would have imagined, like Shane is unsure. Ryan kisses him a little harder, then kisses him again, and then they’re deepening the kiss and his hands are balled in the front of Shane’s pyjama shirt and the kiss is so good that it’s making his head spin, or that could be the tequila, or a combination of the two. Whatever it is, Ryan doesn’t want it to stop. Shane’s hand is hot on his jaw and he’s nibbling Ryan’s lower lip in a way that’s driving him crazy. 

 

Ryan tries to clamber on top of Shane, but Shane pulls back from the kiss, stopping him. 

 

“We should stop.” he says, shaking his head. 

 

“What? No!” Ryan didn’t expect his voice to come out sounding so whiny and hoarse. 

 

Shane laughs. “I don’t want us to do anything you might regret in the morning.” He says. “Come on, you can sleep in my room if you don’t mind being covered in cat hair.”

 

Ryan is annoyed, but he lets Shane take him by the hand and lead him to his bedroom. Even if he doesn’t get to do everything he wants tonight, at least he gets to cuddle Shane. And hopefully they can pick up where they left off tomorrow. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments are my lifeblood, they keep me alive during the harsh winter  
> (should i write part 2?)


End file.
